Poison Issue: Srila Prabhupada Wasn’t Allowed To Go On Parikrama?
Certain disciples of Srila Prabhupada refused to take Srila Prabhupada on Parikrama despite Srila Prabhupada’s numerous requests. In fact, it is not a conversation but an argument that took place in this regard. Srila Prabhupada had to argue with his disciples like Tamal Krishna to take him on parikrama so he could get better or at least “be killed by Rama” (parikrama) rather than Ravana (his poison-giving disciples). My notes in blue. – Vidura M.d.
Prabhupāda: Fainting means of death.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: What, Śrīla Prabhupāda? I know myself, I have a history where I have fainted more than twenty-five times in my life, and I did not die. I fainted in so many different places. In the subways in New York…
Prabhupāda: You are young man, and I am already dead.
Prabhupāda: Hm. (whispering) Why “phish-phish”? Why not talk?
Listen to the poison whispers with high volume. It was Srila Prabhupada who raised issue with the whispers first. The whispers are clear enough and should not be disregarded. They tell a chilling story.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: “Why whispering?” Upendra was saying that not going is all right, but the fact that you are rejecting medicine, that is not good. So I was saying that I don’t really think that you’re rejecting the medicine, but you’re taking that position so that we settle in between. (laughing) I can understand that you appreciate that the medicine is doing some good, but in order to get us to agree…
Brahmānanda: It is you who were saying that by Prabhupāda’s not going, then we’re at a loss for medicine. So then Prabhupāda said, “All right, then no medicine.”
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Transcendental bargaining. (laughs) Śrīla Prabhupāda, I have seen you dealing with the most tricky people in the world. I saw you dealing with that Mr. Nair, and then with that other man, Mr. Ratnaparki? So I can understand that when you say, (laughs) “No medicine at all,” that we will then simply say, “Well, please, Śrīla Prabhupāda, just take medicine and then you stay here,” and you’ll say, “All right.” (laughs)
Prabhupāda: I want simply once parikrama.
Prabhupāda: No, no. As I am doing, that much. Medicine, no medicine…
Prabhupāda: That’s all right. For the time being, if by parikrama, fainting, dying, that is a glorious. That I want. Will it be great burden?
Note: That’s all there is to it! There should have been ZERO discussion after this. But they kept insisting, those rascals…
Prabhupāda: No, no, better…
Jayādvaita: Burden of love.
Prabhupāda: Better… If suppose I am sure to die, then where is better?
Bhavānanda: We don’t feel that at all.
Brahmānanda: I don’t think there’s any question that you’re going to die, Prabhupāda.
Prabhupāda: In the morning this symptom…
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Prabhupāda, you fainted… Although you don’t remember sometimes, you have fainted at least a half a dozen times in the last month or two. I know you don’t recall it, because we did not say anything. But we have seen you faint at least a half a dozen times, actually faint, falling backwards a little bit in bed when you were sitting up. In extreme weakness, fainting is natural. It is not necessarily a symptom of death. It’s due to excessive weakness. The blood does not circulate properly in the head, and one faints. I mean people faint all over the world all the time.
Jayādvaita: On Janmāṣṭamī when they’re fainting… When all the devotees fast, everyone faints. All day long they’re fainting.
Jayādvaita: On Janmāṣṭamī, when there’s mandatory fasting for all the devotees, half of the devotees are fainting throughout the day.
Brahmānanda: They faint?
Prabhupāda: No, no. I am welcoming death.
Bhavānanda: But we are not. We are not welcoming the idea of your death, Śrīla Prabhupāda. You say, “What is the harm?” There is no harm for you. Your return to Kṛṣṇa has been assured from your very birth.
Prabhupāda: So why not allow me to do that?
Bhavānanda: We are thinking of the harm for us and the rest of the world.
Prabhupāda: That depends on Kṛṣṇa. But for me, if you give me this facility—one parikrama, and then leave me to my fate—you’ll give me… Because I am not eating, so keep me whole day as I am. But if you think that I have become burden, then… (whispering) Hm?
Note: At this point, there is just no doubt at all that these “disciples” were purposefully keeping Srila Prabhupada locked in his room; They were afraid they might somehow get exposed… Remember Tamal’s whisper now saying “He’s trying to trap us…he’s as sly as they come.“
Bhavānanda: I was just saying, Śrīla Prabhupāda, something must have happened that you’re feeling somehow that we think that you have become a burden. But we don’t feel that way at all, Śrīla Prabhupāda.
Jayādvaita: You’ve given the example in Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam that when a capitalist has money, that’s also a burden. And when the woman has a child, that child is a burden. So in the same way… But that burden is a burden of love. So you’re that kind of burden, the kind of burden that’s wanted.
Prabhupāda: Where is kavirāja?
Kavirāja: (Hindi) (end)
(Conversation — Prabhupada Vigil — November 1, 1977, Vrndavana)
And on November 10, 1977, Vrndavana:
Jagadīśa: Śrīla Prabhupāda, can you tell us why you want to go on the parikrama?
Bhakti-caru: (Bengali) [break]
Prabhupāda: …good paddy.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: This seems like suicide, Śrīla Prabhupāda, this program. It seems to some of us like it’s suicidal.
Prabhupāda: And this is also suicidal.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Hm. Prabhupāda said, “And this is also suicide.” Now you have to choose which suicide.
Prabhupāda: The Rāvaṇa will kill and Rāma will kill. Better to be killed by Rāma. Eh? That Mārīca—if he does not go to mislead Sītā, he’ll be killed by Rāvaṇa; and if he goes to be killed by Rāma, then it is better.