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dasa 707-477-4102
===========================
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1) NARYANA MAHARAJA's STOLEN DEITY ISSUE
2) PADA Editorial.
3) Why Do We Criticize? by DHARMARAJ DAS
4) ENGLAND UPDATE. My name is Balarama Das ... It would be more appropriate
to call it the 'child abuse cover up' team. [PADA NOTE: Child abuser
Gauridasa mentioned in this letter is the current president of
Bhaktivedanta Manor temple in England, since they worship the child abuser
guru lineage over there. And Gauridasa kicks out the people who worship
Srila Prabhupada (ritvik deviants!) since Srila Prabhupada is now detested
in major sectors of ISKCON of England. Srila Prabhupada says that worship
of homosexual pedophile messiahs is -- wrong, so his worship must be
halted. Only people who abuse children and who make abusers into messiahs
-- or those who helped that agenda like Gauridasa -- are qualified to have
any managerial status in many places in current corporate ISKCON, not only
in UK but many other places worldwide. Which is why -- we still get death
threats even nowadays, because we do not agree with a lineage of worship of
child buggery as God's successive messiahs ....! This is a brave letter
which exposes this cult and we are getting more and more like this all the
time, bravo! ys pd]
=============================
1) NARYANA MAHARAJA's STOLEN DEITY ISSUE
Was this theft reported to the police? If the deities "turned up in
Badger," were those devotees arrested? Who is the owner of the Venice
property? Who will benefit from from the sale of the property? Was the
property donated and then sold? How did Rshabdev benefit from the sale and
did his name get onto the property? Please report to PADA. thanks pd
=========================
2) PADA Editorial.
The good news is that more and more of the younger "new folks" are openly
writing their complaints about the bogus GBC gurus. That means (thanks to
our efforts?) people now know it is safe to write such analysis without too
much fear of reprisals. And the new wave of critics also know which types
of "shastric quotes and arguments" to use, namely the ones we have used. We
see more and more folks are basing their analysis mainly upon our arguments
and shastric quotes: that pure devotees are not deviants. That means
whether more of "Srila Prabhupada's direct disciples" wake up and start
writing or not, that is pretty much irrelevant. The "newer wave of
devotees" are starting to see the same flaws that we have mentioned over
the years within the bogus guru's sabha. And many newer folks are therefore
addressing these issues themselves more and more.
And people are seeing the same pattern / connection we pointed out: There
is "a pure devotee guru" in the women's panty's drawer; "Bhaktivedanta"
Tripurari swami is driving his female secretary Vrndaranya around in his
Volvo; Siddhaswarupa "Prabhupada" ran off with the wife of a follower; A
molester is in charge over here; A deviant is the guru over there; A
molester is called upon to sing a kirtan for Bhakti Tirtha's departure;
There are protectors of molesters all over the place; Child beater
Dhanurdara is a "temporarily suspended" messiah; Narayana Maharaja is
citing that "there is nothing wrong" with his worship of homosexuals as
God's successor messiahs project, and that those of us who do not worship
his molester messiah's project are "ritvik poison"; A molester ran off with
a bunch of money in Puerto Rico; Tapah punja gets out of jail for the
murder of Sulochana and he is immediately declared a hero and given a post
at New Vrindavana; Devamrita, Umapati and Radhanatha were wearing brown
monk's robes in Kirtanananda's whack-job child molester guru cult but they
are now the new hero saviors of ISKCON; A child abuser is in charge of the
Bhaktivedanta manor, the media notices this -- and so on ad infinitum.
Ironically, many of the "older generation" of devotees had argued all along
to PADA that they did not want to join in the battle with us against the
bogus guru's sabha because they "wanted a peaceful life." Yet now we are
seeing that many of our "peaceful life" contemporaries are dying off --
left, right and center. So it seems that a number of these poor "peace-nik"
folks are not even living long enough to reap the benefit of their
allegedly peacefully "preserved lives." At least they have not done much
better than we have done, since many of them are already dead and we are
not. So it is a little like the essence of the Bhagavad Gita, Krishna says:
either we will fight willingly, or we will end up being involved in the
fighting anyway. We really will not benefit very much from running off the
battle field in fear and hiding under a tree, as Krishna tells Arjuna
directly. Hence, many of the people who ran off the battlefield being
afraid of the hydra-headed multi-guru monster, to hide under a tree, they
seem to be dying in an epidemic of all types of illnesses -- especially of
late.
For example, one devotee warned PADA's editor a few months ago -- be
careful not to hug him -- since he is wearing a colostomy bag. His colon
has been surgically removed and now he has a plastic tube on his belly to
dispose of waste. He had also ran off the battle field many years ago
bellowing dreadfully about the evils of PADA and that "we need to
cooperate." "This fighting is not peaceful," but he has had other major
problems in any case? This devotee indeed complained to us that he has had
"a life of stress." So that means that Krishna is correct, we might avoid
the main battle, but we might end up being victimized in the repercussions
of the battle anyway. So Krishna says, better to fight directly because in
that case we die in the battle and that is more glorious than dying on the
sidelines -- from a colostomy operation? PADA happens to agree with Krishna.
As a side benefit the PADA editor has not had hardly any anxiety or stress,
rather we are not even barely in need of taking four asprins per year.
There are also so many citations about why we must counter imitation of our
guru, insults to our guru, and so on and so forth. These quotes are also
not for nothing. Another item (connected to all this) that we cannot help
but notice is that some of the children of the people who ran off the
battlefield now have a very negative idea of Krishna consciousness. Indeed
some of these ex-children hate Krishna consciousness. We personally know
some of these ex-children who now eat hamburgers and so on as a means of
protesting their parent's "bogus religion."
In other words, by cooperating with the deviant gurus many parents created
a horrific mis-impression of what the Krishna religion is all about and
their children were impacted in a malefic manner. Never mind also that many
children were victimized because many "senior devotees" have been
acqiuescing with the child molester's guru project. So we might hide in
fear from the battlefield and live a so-called longer life, whereas Srila
Prabhupada argues that even a turtle has a longer life than us humans --
but so what? We thus see many apparently unrelated, but in fact related and
far ranging problems when people run off the battlefield. That action might
effect not only the people hiding under a rock but their dependents and
associates, not to speak of the negative impact on the entire ISKCON
mission itself.
Again that means that when Krishna says we have to fight evil, it is our
duty, we cannot simply toss away HIS order as inconsequential because there
are so many unforseen ramifications to denying His direct order. Worse, at
the same time that we have been fighting the hydra-headed bogus guru
project, indeed where one slip-up means we are basically dead, we have had
countless guys like Gaura Govinda swami, Ravindra Swarupa, Ranchor,
Nirantara, Sura, Gopa Vrindapal, Brajendranatha and hundreds if not
thousands of others trying to distract us by saying that we need to
cooperate with the bogus child molester's guru regime. Or we have had
sentimental guys like Puru dasa writing us lengthy three page letters
explaining why PADA needs to worship Puru's homosexual pedophile guru
project's ilk like Kirtanananda -- "because great saints like Gaura
Govinda, Sridhara and Narayana Maharajas are all supporting that regime."
In sum, when all the assembled clowns are driving the school bus full of
kids off the cliff, we should join in and step on the gas pedal to insure
that the crash occurs? Why?
OK, there has been a lot of sympathy for the devil, not just running off
the battlefield -- but openly attacking the few of us who have been
fighting to defend Srila Prabhupada and the children of ISKCON. So this has
been another big problem, the acquiescing, the de facto support, the direct
support. And this is sometimes called "maunam samyam raksati" -- all who
remain silent are condemned. We have to actively defend or we are
condemned. At least so says the shastra. Then again we note that the
constant juxtaposing of the members of "the enforced cult ritualistic
worship of homosexual pedophiles regime" and the great mahajanas is still
going on because of so many bogus documents such as the 1980's "The
Mahajanas Have Difficulties" position paper which has influenced people.
That 1980 document which links child molesters to be equal to mahajanas and
messiahs was penned by Satsvarupa under the umbrella of the bogus GBC/
Sridhara/ Narayana/ Tripurari/ Gaura Govinda / BV and BP Puri maharajas
regime, which has been inculcated by so many people. Of course this is also
why the Christian's police, media, and courts have actually helped PADA so
readily. All we have to do is point out how the bogus guru's regime is
endorsing and enforcing the worshipping of homosexual pedophiles as
Jesus-like messiahs, and our Christian friends get angry, barf, gag, have
steam coming out of their ears, and they say, we'd like to help! So this
will take time to clear up, but we have billions of allies on board with
PADA to challenge this bogus messiah's cult. We will win in time, since
9999999999.9999999 percent of the human society understands that child
buggers and their supporters are not God's pure devotee -- Vaiknutha
resident -- messiahs, nor are the Mahajanas having child molester
"difficulties."
Also notice in the letter below from the ex-gurukuli that while almost
everyone else has been discussing "is the guru's seat three inches high or
thirty feet high" -- for worshipping deviants and pedophiles, the children
have been getting beaten, starved and molested. And PADA was being
criticized by the bogus GBC/ Sridhara/ Narayana / Tripurari/ Gaura Govinda/
BV and BP Puri et al. for "always talking about the molesting." We at PADA
are also very much convinced that Srila Prabhupada was in fact poisoned to
death, that is what the evidence suggests. Thus another good news item is:
for some years now many people doubted us when we made that claim. That
mood has changed substantially. Nowadays when we tell people "Srila
Prabhupada complained of being poisoned," most of the time people nowadays
say RIGHT AWAY, "Yeah, that makes a lot of sense." In other words, many
folks immediately agree -- without -- even needing to read all the
corroborating materials and studying the tape recordings and so forth.
"Yeah, it just makes a whole lot of sense, that is what seems to have
happened."
Even one of Harivilas' pals agreed with us immediately on this issue
recently, "Yep, no doubt about it, he was poisoned to death." Narayana
Maharaja camp also agreed some years ago, and so on, so this issue is
gaining momentum also amongst the newer people. However, it is the opinion
of the PADA editor that those who drank from the false guru sabha's poison
Judas cup are going to get reactions for that, and even acquiescing will
produce ill effect. In short, the poison case is being accepted more and
more without our even have to put much emphasis on that issue. Perhaps
those who went along with the poison sabha explains why so many of their
bogus gurus and some of their sycophants, defenders and acquiescers are now
plagued by mystery ailments as well.
For example: a few years ago Kavichandra was supposedly unable to digest
any food and he had to eat a little rice and yoghurt; Giriraja has heart
surgery problems; Jaggadisha and Vipramukya had major ailments; Suhotra,
Harikesha and many others had all kinds of ailments; Prithu said he had so
many ailments all at once he did not know which was worse; Satsvarupa's
ailments are world wide famous, and so on and so forth. Maybe by
cooperating with the poisoner's sabha -- one will have ill effect.
Vegetarians should be living longer healthy lives, one would think? Of
course sometimes there is death of a younger vegetatrian, but not an
epidemic like this?
The bad news is that some newer people are still siphoning off to the camp
of history's biggest defenders of the enforced cult ritualistic worship of
homosexual pedophiles regime, such as Narayana Maharaja. However we also
see that when Narayana Maharaja's "co-living gurus" like Gaura Govinda
Maharaja depart, then Gaura Govinda Maharaja's camp deflates to almost
nothing since his followers ran away to "accept another living guru"
(Narayana Maharaja). In short the emphasis on Gaura Govinda Maharaja has
almost ceased. That means Gaura Govinda's camp has diffused and practically
disappeared, hence his prime legacy will be that his camp has transformed
into even worse compromising with a big defender of the bogus GBC's deviant
guru cult. In other words Gaura Govinda Maharaja has no living successor,
and it seems that neither will Narayana Maharaja. That means these camps
will diffuse when their "living guru" departs. Good news for us!
And both camps are implicated in their vociferous support of the bogus
GBC's deviant gurus which will always create a cloud over their whole
enterprise. So their camps are not destined to have a long life. Hence when
Narayana Maharaja departs it seems there is not anyone in his camp who will
be able to take over the mantle of "living guru." Dristadyumna and Jadurani
were fighting over that post for some time, but now no one knows about the
other so-called "big sannyasa leaders" in that camp. In other words the
other leaders in the NM camp are not prominent enough to count as viable
"successors." And then again one of the prominent sannyasas in Narayana
Maharaja's camp ran off with a woman recently, creating doubt over the
status of his alleged potential successors.
Worse, nowadays Dristadyumna seems to have developed doubts about Narayana
Maharaja and Jadurani was exposed as attacking Srila Prabhupada by her
saying Srila Prabhupada has a bogus idea about the "Kalki" avatar etc. The
"living guru" cults seem to disintegrate even while the living guru is
present and especially after their so-called living guru departs. To sum,
Srila Prabhupada is emerging more and more as the actual shelter, or at the
very least he will be the de facto winner once all of these hokey shooting
star "sum total of the demigods" fireflies dwindle and the brilliant moon
of His Divine Grace Srila Prabhupada is all that remains. ys pd
============================
3) Why Do We Criticize? by DHARMARAJ DAS
DD: It is a few months now that I have been reading articles on different
devotee websites. One thing that strikes me is the bitterness and
resentment that is apparent in some of the writers. There seem to be
trends, in the past few months I have read articles criticizing very
strongly Indradyumna Swami, Hrydayananda Maharaja, Satsvarupa Maharaj,
Narayana Maharaj, Radhanatha Maharaj, Jayapataka Swami, Kavicandra Swami,
Bhaktividyapurna Swami, Dhira Govinda Prabhu, Gauri Prabhu and more
recently Braja Bihari Prabhu. I am not suggesting that we should be naïve
and blind to mistakes that have been committed; I am not trying to discount
the gravity of mistakes that have been committed perhaps by misquoting yet
again BG. 9.30. I believe that there is a desperate need for a more
efficient way to deal with differences between devotees in ISKCON.
[PADA: Over the years the PADA editor has recieved hundreds, if not
thousands, of death threats from the above bogus guru's party, but who is
counting? Even little teeny 98 lbs. Susan Ryan, the manager at our Los
Angeles internet provider, she was threatened with death by bogus GBC thugs
some years ago. And we just now had to trek over to see the familiar faces
at the police station (once again) a few weeks ago, with two brand new
death threats from the Swami BV Tripurari camp. We even explain to some of
these "death threat" callers that the above and / or folks like Tripurari
have helped along the worship of homosexual pedophiles as gurus. And these
callers say, "So what"? "So what" if there has been child molester
messiahs, mass molesting, murders of dissenters, bad publicity for Krishna,
million of dollars lawsuits etc.? Neither any of these folks or Swami BV
Tripurari camp has ever, ever wrote to us saying that they and Sridhara
Maharaja et al. are bogus for enforcing / endorsing / supporting their
homosexual pedophile messiahs worship policy? No remorse, worse, even
pride! Yep we got most of em molested, had we been better gurus we would
have had all of em molested!
Worse, Narayana Maharaja cites "there is nothing wrong" with worship of
homosexuals, and the resulting beatings, murders, even the poisoning
assassination of Ananta Vasudeva's child. So what, who cares, nothing wrong
here! Of course if we want to worship pure devotees that's WRONG, that is
ritvik poison! Oh, you want to worship someone like Jesus and not child
buggers who murder the devotees, well that is poison! And more importantly,
they never admit their child molester guru's process and POLICY is what
caused all the molesting and murders. And most of them, especially
Tripurari still say those of us who failed to worship their divine child
molester guru reigme, we are the deviants. In any case all of this means:
if we meet with these folks "in private meetings," and criticized them in a
small private circle, perhaps we would have had our throat slit like Chatur
Bahu Dasa did when he attempted to "critcize through internal private
meetings." Chatur Bahu said, "I am going to solve this internally." And
when we heard that, then PADA said, "Chatur Bahu is going to die very
soon." And we were correct.
In short, we cannot generally meet privately with the leaders of a child
molester guru MAFIA and tell them, "We are going to expose you." This never
works well since -- we might end up dead. We have to criticize this type of
dangerous cult very openly with public documents, and hopefully public
media publiclity, and meanwhile publicly let the police know who we are,
and what we are doing at every step. Of course if a hundred of our God
brothers had come forward and joined with us in 1977, we could have done
this all internally, but they did not step forward. So we got some help
from fewer devotees but also help from Krishna's other hands and legs,
namely the police, media and courts, and they are still helping us.
Although notice we are lately printing more and more letters from all over
the place from others who now agree with Srila Prabhupada and PADA, so our
hands and legs are everywhere, hey, hey, hey.
Yes, PADA predicted that Chatur Bahu would in fact die if he attempted
"private" meetings with no back up from the police and media. If someone is
going after a dangerous child molester cult's leaders, one needs to be very
public and have the police and media watching one's back. And to recommend
any other process is dangerous and foolish. When congressman Ryan went in
to question the Jim Jones cult, he was killed because he did not even have
the local police notified and ready to take action. One simply cannot go
after a violent child molester goonda guru cult without back-up, period.
Meanwhile, Narayana Maharaja calls anyone who worships Srila Prabhupada
"poison" when we refuse to worship his "man to man sex" buggery pooja
projects. NM wants us to be killed "give a dog a bad name and hang it" as
Srila Prabhupada says. Gaura Govinda Maharaja said basically the same
thing, the ritviks are deviants because they want to worship a pure devotee
Srila Prabhupada, and this is why their camps have merged together.
How did you guess, Tripurari says Narayana Maharaja is the best guru now on
the planet, ummm -- because Narayana Maharaja's book says "there is nothing
wrong" with worshipping buggery "man to man sex" messiahs, especially for
children. And most of Gaura Govinda's followers are now licking the feet of
the person (NM) who openly states that buggery pooja is good and worship of
the pure is bogus. As one ex-gurukuli explains to us, their messiahs "don't
even use grease." And this is what Tripurari and Narayana maharaja want
children to worship as their messiahs, child buggery, "nothing wrong here"
they say? Yes, when we point out that Narayana Maharaja writes a guru
tattva booklet which states "there is nothing wrong (with buggery pooja)"
his followers don't say, "Well jeepers prabhu, we cannot worship
homosexuals, child molesters and buggery messiahs," rather they say "Anyone
who questions (our worshipping buggery messiahs policy) is an offender."
Narayana Maharaja is clearly trying to get us killed, "Here is the poison,
they worship Srila Prabhupada, and they refuse to worship our child buggery
messiah projects, so get rid of them, they are poison." Kali Yuga: religion
becomes irreligion.
As for Bhagwat Gita 9:30, this is another mis-citation foolishness on the
part of the false gurus and their "shastric advisors" like Gaura Govinda/
Sridhara/ Tripurari/ Narayana Maharajas et al. Bhagwat Gita 9:30 says we
have to forgive the failures of THE NEOPHYTES, but such failures do NOT
appear in the Mahabhagavata gurus. Rather, by applying BG 9:30 to the
Mahabhagavata pure devotee acharyas, we are committing the error "gurusuh
narah matih -- narakah sah" -- thinking that the guru falls down. No!
"Narakah sah" means that the people who attribute failure to the post of
guru are ALREADY residents of hell (narakah). BG 9:30 applies to neophytes,
yes they might make abominable mischief, whereas the acharyas are NOT!
Ever. Hence we have to overlook the faults of the neophytes, very nice, but
this verse does not apply to the guru residents of Vaikuntha! Vaikuntha is
not "abominable actions that need to be forgiven"?
So we cannot even discuss with them how they are mis-using the Gita to make
messiahs look like criminal sex fiends, at least not in private, we have to
make public exposes. So the first step would have been to make a public
debate, in a neutral area, but they will never agree to that since they are
making money by telling people the acharyas are abominable fools. And
Narayana Maharaja's book says "there is nothing wrong with (man to man sex)
messiahs," and Tripurari says this is the most elevated thing we can read,
and they refuse to debate us, even when we were invited to NM's matha, he
would not even say one word to us since he knows that he is a very sinful
man for supporting buggery messiahs and he cannot support his idea from any
shastra.]
** DD: I simply do not believe this form of criticism to be beneficial for
anybody involved nor for the Society at large. Such articles make it
extremely difficult for the criticized devotees to trust in the Vaisnava
community. I would not respond well to this kind of attack / destructive
criticism.
[PADA: Well these folks have never responded to anything. Even after they
were sued for $400,000,000 they still kept Dhanurdara, and Kirtanananda's
henchmen and other molesters and deviants in posts of power. Therefore we
need more lawsuits, to force them to respond. PADA has also directly shown
Narayana Maharaja's followers the quote from his book -- that "there is
nothing wrong" with homosexuals posing as messiahs, and they cannot respond
either, they just drool on theselves and look just as perplexed as NM is.
If "there is nothing wrong" with child buggery messiahs, then NM has no
idea what is right or wrong? This is the symptom of the modes of ignorance,
since even a five year old kindergarten child knows that child buggers are
not Krishna's successor messiahs. NM has not come to the advanced level of
kindergarten.]
** DD: If anyone of them was to be so unbelievably brave and virtuous to
come forward to confess and own up to their mistakes in front of the
Vaisnava community, my feeling is that there would be a riot: we would be
onto this devotee with no more compassion than a pack of ravenous wolves.
[PADA: This is the first mistake of your proposal, since gurus are free
from errors, how would gurus begin to "admit" they are a pack of errors,
how will that work? You have not explained how the parampara is full of
errors?]
** DD: I sense a tremendous lack of the mercy and compassion that should be
quintessential to Vaisnavas. We have failed to create a safe space to
support devotees who make mistakes and have falldowns. Especially our
leaders.
[PADA: This is all nonsense. Gurus are not experiencing "mistakes and
falldowns." This means you are the "narakah sah" in the "gurusuh narah
matih" verse. Sorry, messiahs are free from cheating, mistake, illusion
what to speak of having homosexual acts with children as the above
mentioned party's "gurus" have done. The messiah has to admit he is falling
down into illicit sex with men, women, and children, as occurs with these
bogus gurus?]
** DD: In my humble opinion/judgment, I sense that many of the writers have
not perfected the art of constructive criticism. Many of the articles seem
to be written by people out on personal vendettas with the specific
aim/hope to bring the devotee criticized down; preferably drag them in the
mud while they are at it.
[PADA: OK here we go again, you have failed to explain how messiahs are
falling down in the first place?]
** DD: It is important that when I speak or write I take full
responsibility for the consequences that may come from my actions. I am
curious to know how many of the people that have written to criticize
another devotee in the last year, did so with love, concern and the intent
to facilitate the spiritual growth of the devotee that was being
criticized. I am curious to know how many of the devotees recently
criticized on the Internet have found it valuable and have benefited in any
way from the criticism received.
[PADA: If a devotee is falling down, while claiming he is a messiah, he is
imitating his guru. Shastra says then he is not a devotee, rather he is a
kali chela, an imposter, a charlatan, a dangerous cheater, and rather his
cheating by posing as a great devotee makes him among "the most dangerous
men on earth," who are "destined for the most obnoxious regions" says
shastra. Shastra does a much better job of explaining these folks than we
are doing.]
** DD: If we want to concentrate on mistakes why don’t we start criticizing
Bhismadeva? He is one of the Mahajans, one of the leaders of mankind. Yet
he failed to protect Draupadi when she was helpless and being insulted by
the kauravas. He fought to support irreligion and the immorality of
Dhuryodan. Shall we start a forum dedicated to criticizing him? Then what
are we going to do, start fault-finding Srila Prabhupada? Would that
benefit our spiritual life?
[PADA: OK, here is the whole problem from square one. You are linking
fallen behaviors of neophytes with the Mahajanas. And in 1980 Satsvarupa
wrote a paper with Sridhara Maharaja saying that "The Mahajanas have
Difficulties," so they and now you are blending in the mahajanas with the
failures of cheaters posing as messiahs. Bhishmadeva wanted to fight in a
battle against Krishna and so he had to take the wrong side to do that,
this is his lila and not the fall down of bogus gurus who are homosexuals,
drug addicts, crooks and criminals?]
** DD: At the moment we have Braja Bihari Prabhu on the line of fire, I
like what Jesus says, "Let he who has never sinned cast the first stone."
[PADA: Well you are tossing stones at the mahajanas by blending them in
with your bogus group of gurus that has (according to Jayadvaita) "engaged
in illicit sex with men, women and children." Notice you are discussing
this deviant group and the mahajanas in one breath, so you are the one who
is attacking, and you are attacking the mahajanas just as your mentors have
done. thanks pd]
=======================================
4) My name is Balarama Das and I attended the Bhaktivedanta Swami
International Gurukula in Vrindavana between 1985 (as a "day scholar" with
Chandrika Mataji for that year) and 1995. Gurukulis who went to Vrindavan
Gurukula before that period tell me that 1985-86 was supposed to be the
year that was 'marked' by an intervention by the 'child protection' team.
It would be more appropriate to call it the 'child abuse cover up' team.
There was no one who was really interested in the Gurukula as an
institution that was housing about 300 kids but rather more interested in
representing this 'ideal' notion of what a Gurukula should be with
wonderful brochures and great rhetoric designed to bring in as much money
as possible from potential donors. This so-called child protection team was
just another team of people good with 'damage control'. I know from
experience that this was certainly true. We used to go begging while doing
Hari-nama on the streets of Delhi in the name of 'madhukari.' The ashram
teachers didn't have to consult anyone on the decisions they made. One day
the ashram teacher decides that the Gurukula boys need some 'ego-training'
so we'll have them beg through the filthy streets of Delhi without any
consultation on the matter. And research???? ... research was just not an
option. "What do they know those cow-eating demons?" That was what 90% of
the world’s population was referred to as. At this sort of naive language
and behavior, you can get a glimpse of the 'cult-like' mentality of the
people in charge. Just before programs were organized at rich potential
donors' homes, we were given new dhotis and kurtas and had our heads shaved
so we could put on the 'best' show possible. I was supposed to be spared
the 'horrible' years of Gurukula but instead I observed and sometimes was
on the receiving end of some of the worst beatings and child abuse I have
ever come across in my 26 years of existence.
There may be some truth to the notion that as the years passed on in
Gurukula, it came closer and closer to becoming an institution that was
meant to house civilized human children and not just a 'herd' of animal
kids. Gauridas (Gudakesha at that time) who was my ashram teacher between
1991 and 1995 came at a time in Gurukula when it needed a complete overhaul
in the worst sense possible. The couple of years before Gauridas came in
town were the worst years of my life. Since there was no concept of
child-rearing and child abuse any damn fool that walked in as a 'volunteer'
was given full control of the kids. I am not sorry for the language I use
and I can't think of anything more lenient to describe these people and I
think the least of my rights is to express my anger and frustration at the
leadership with regards to these 'damn fools'.
Let me briefly summarize some of these 'fools' that happened to be accepted
by the Gurukula as valid Ashram teachers and valid Ashram teacher
assistants or monitors. You may think why I am writing all this if this is
supposed to be a report on Gauridas? If I'm going to delve into the past I
may as well recount everything that is still vividly present in my mind not
only for therapeutic reasons but more importantly putting things in
perspective for those of you who are sincerely trying to get to the crux of
the matter which is still very much an issue with ISKCON especially when it
comes to management. Gauridas cannot be absolved for all his nonsense just
on the basis that he wasn't as bad as some in an institution run by some
really sadistic and cruel people. The 'lesser evil' is only 'good' when
'evil' is all you got.
I don't know the exact years these events took place but I can vividly
describe them in detail for even if there was an instrument to erase all my
memory, there would still be residue from memories as shockingly horrific
as the images I picked up along the way couple of years before Gauridas
came to teach. Kurmarupa was the ashram teacher at this time and he was a
terrible ashram teacher at that. You can't be surprised that Dhanurdhara
was the principal because he epitomizes the very foundation on which the
gurukula was run - a foundation of corruption, deception, ignorance and
untold damage to both the kids in the gurukula and ultimately ISKCON as an
institution. The management had no clue of child-rearing practices or any
child psychology whatsoever. They were lazy and had more 'pressing matters'
to deal with like in Dhanurdhara's case getting as many disciples as
possible and 'branding' his new brand of guru-ship. Where better to start
than the gurukula itself?
And one incident in particular will make it clear what Dhanurdhara was
like. I remember once in the prasadam hall of the gurukula, I was joking to
a few kids about the fact that Dhanurdhara Swami was upset that a bunch of
the older gurukula boys didn't pay obeisances to him when he was passing by
in the courtyard of the gurukula. I was watching this chastisement from the
veranda of a different floor and I found this humorous. One of the many
'whistle-blowers' that were around at the prasadam hall at the time went
and complained to Gauridas. It really doesn't matter who went and
complained but what was shocking was the reaction of the 'principal' of the
Bhaktivedanta Swami International Gurukula. You will not find a more
shallow person if you looked for one than this 'Swami'. Gauridas sent me
straight to the principal when I came in for the evening philosophy class.
And, there was the 'principal' of B.S.I.Gurukula. waiting for me as I
walked in. I was slightly scared because I had some sort of premonition
that something bad was going to happen. But the Swami made everything seem
very calm and cool.
He began by asking me to stand in the corner and just answer his questions
honestly. And by his demeanor and the way he was just sitting at his desk,
I thought this was going to be another lecture session which would end in
me asking forgiveness. But, I guess, the swami was expert at these
situations because he had a lot of 'experience' beating the hell out of a
lot of kids. He very smoothly sneaked up to me totally involved in the
conversation and catching me completely off-guard and gave me the hardest
slap of my life on my right cheek and ear. The slap was so hard that I
couldn't even cry. And before I realized what was happening, I was slapped
at least 7 times on both sides of my face all as hard as the first one. I
still distinctly remember ringing from those slaps. My cheeks were starting
to swell as soon as I left his office. The leaving of his office was as
hazy if not more than the slappings themselves. The conversation was
awkwardly cut short and the whole experience was completely demoralizing. I
remember that moment to be one of the many defining moments of about 9
years of abuse in Vrindavan gurukula. That was the moment when my respect
for the principal turned into fear and as days went by evolved into anger
and frustration a common progression of my attitude for most teachers I
have had in gurukula.
The ringing in my ears wouldn't stop and didn't stop the next morning. I
remember going to mangal-arti with swollen cheeks and a ringing ears. What
was also disturbing was the casual nature with which Gauridas just ignored
the whole situation even tough he noticed my swollen cheeks which were hard
to ignore. I have problems hearing with my left ear and my older brother is
completely deaf in one ear. That was just an example of one incident that
took place with the man at the top of the pyramid. What can you say about
the ashram teachers who we were dealing with on a daily basis? They were
sad, cruel, frustrated, desperate single men who had no idea of what it
means to be dealing with soft clay-like minds of young devotee children
which could be permanently scarred if not delicately handled. They didn't
have the children's interest in their minds. They were just there because
they didn't have any better options in life. Because of such lazy and dodgy
ashram teachers, most of all of their duties and authority was transferred
to sadistic men like a sinister midget of a man named Prahlad from Nepal.
This person had no better place to exert his hunger for power than over a
big group of Gurukula kids who were about 11 to 15 year old...(sic) ...At
5:30 in the morning when we should be meditating on the names of Krishna in
Japa class, I was absorbing horrific moving images of the worst physical
child abuse I have ever witnessed. Anyone of the kids in that room at Japa
class can attest to my claim. Before I get into the details of Prahlad's
horrendous ways, let me iterate that Kurmarupa was in the next room doing
his puja as always. Maybe he was fed up with taking out all his
frustrations on the boys in japa class.
There is an incident many kulis who were there will empathize with and I
remember this one because it is at the beginning of the gurukula semester
when Kurmarupa just loses it and he is rummaging through all the boys in
japa class like some big gorilla is rummaging through a dense forest. I
remember being hurled to the wall and smacked left and right over and over
again. I remember peeing in my dhoti due to the shock of it all and through
all this I also remember the fact that there are only two boys in the room
who don't get touched and obviously one of them is the son of the
principal. Minutes later I have a bump on the back of my head and my lips
are bleeding from the beating but I don't notice any of that because the
physicality of the shock but I remember trying to find some sort of
expectant feelings of guilt in Kurmarupa's face after the whole episode yet
finding absolutely none especially for the fact that he didn't touch the
son of the principal. This is just a glimpse of the archetype of an ashram
teacher in Vrindavan Gurukula at that time.
Having said this, I have to admit that time certainly changes everything
and people are no exception. Kurma-rupa is a changed man for he has
exhibited some real saintly qualities as far as cows are concerned for a
sustained period of time in Vrindavan. I have also talked to him about many
of the issues I have had with him and he is genuinely remorseful for the
way he was as an ashram teacher especially when it comes to Prahlad. I
don't think the same is true for Gauridas. He seems to be under the
illusion that he was this messiah that came to gurukula and saved all the
kids and created a systematic structure in gurukula. There couldn't be
anything further from the truth.
Getting back to the topic of Prahlad's blatant abuse of authority, it is
really sad that the sort of physical abuse that you might not even find in
prisons around the world today was being perpetuated in the Bhaktivedanta
Swami International Gurukula in Japa class at 5:30 in the morning. Prahlad
would have us all sit in straight lines and then go around asking at random
if we were masturbating. And this question was a trick question because if
you said 'yes' you were put in the 'beating' line in front of the whole
class and if you said 'no', the beating started right there and then.
"You’re lying! Not only are you masturbator but you are a liar as well!"
And then you were put in the 'beating' line anyway. So, eventually, no one
said 'no' even if they were not masturbating. Let me tell you that I had no
idea what he was talking about and why these boys were been beating like
savages till my second year with him as the monitor. The physical abuse
ranged from severe slapping to the use of metal rods and I remember a time
when one kid had his ears ripped in half off the side of his head and blood
running down his face. It was a gruesome affair. There was such an
electrifying atmosphere of fear that the older kids in the class that were
twice the size of this 'midget' of a man just couldn't do anything but sit
there in fear. I also remember that he used to have boys massage his feet
and legs for hours. And I remember being asked to massage his buttocks
which I thought was really weird but didn't say anything because of the
fear he had induced in all of us.
The worst part of the 'show' was when Prahlad picked on this black boy from
Nigeria named Prabhupada-das. I don't even want to get into the racism
aspect of these beatings because when I think of all the human rights
violations that was going on in gurukula with regards to this kid, I simply
shudder and I have to make a conscious effort to block those memories from
forming. He was always used as a scape-goat. Always the first one in the
beating line up, he was the one that was beat the most and the use of the
metal rod was on a continual basis when it came to Prabhupada-das and I'm
sure that was one of the reasons why he used wet his bed every night so the
ashram teacher 'jokingly' named him 'pee-das'. I remember he used to tell
us, this is after Prahlad was 'suspended' from the gurukula after two years
of abuse, that he would go back to Nigeria and learn karate and come back
and kick his ass! Another boy that was frequently made the scape-goat was
Haribhakti. He had to tell the ashram teacher that he slept on a bunch of
batteries referring to huge scarred bruises from the metal rod all over his
arms. I was the recipient of many a beating with and without the metal rod
but compared to many, I had it 'fairly' easy.
Before I talk about Gauridas, let me briefly say something about an ashram
teacher named Atma-bhavana from Spain. This man was yet another person
picked right off the new Bhakta program which was a normal practice for the
gurukula in those days I remember when he first came, he had a long beard
and hair and he looked quite 'demented' to say the least. But he was like
Gauridas coming at a point when the gurukula boys were being abused at a
level of physical and mental abuse that was unprecedented as far as I'm
concerned, especially the abuse doled out by Prahlad. So he also may be
remembered in many boys' minds as the 'not-so-bad' teacher. But I remember
very graphic incidents involving Atmabhavana.
Since I was really good at memorizing Gita slokas and always ahead of the
class, Atmabhavana made me the sloka class teacher for the smaller boys.
One day, I think this was after a festival day when we were well worn out
because of rigorous drama practices, the schedule and food of the festival
and ultimately the drama itself. After getting up for Mangal aratik and
chanting our rounds, I couldn't keep my eyes open and all the other kids in
the class had the same problem so out of an instinctive impulse, I told
everyone to just lie down in their places and we could take a nap till
guru-puja time. Yet again, one of the many whistle-blowers in the gurukula
(another concept I could get into deeply but will only touch on a little
later in this paper) went 'running' to Atmabhavana. This 'crackpot' of a
teacher didn’t even have the decency to wake me up before he grabbed me by
my kurta with his right hand and swung me to the wall lifting me 3 or 4
feet in the air and let loose a barrage of hard slaps with his left hand on
both sides of the face. I was still half a sleep when I was being bombarded
with slaps. That was one of the more traumatic experiences. It still evokes
fear and anger in me when I think of it. He didn't say a word because I
guess he didn't have to. It was plain and simple that if I did something
like that again, the consequences would be severe and swift. And this was
in front of all the kids who I was suppose to be 'teaching' to.
Now let's talk about Gauridas. In 1998 I wrote about my experiences in the
ashram with Gauridas, but at the time, two of my little brothers were still
in Gauridas's ashram. Having suffered first hand from Gauridas's vengeful
nature, I was concerned for their well-being and this prevented me from
writing a comprehensive testimony. But you can still get a sense of my
resentment for him especially with regards to the psychological abuse that
he dished out on a regular basis. Gauridas was a little more 'refined' when
it came to abuse. He wasn’t the 'beat-the-living-daylights-out-of-the-kids'
type. His abuse stemmed from his politically savvy nature. He used a more
impersonal style in execution of his physical abuse. He would line up boys
who had received for four "checks" for disciplining issues, an outdated
system of punishment which he implemented, from fellow peers who were now
acting on behalf of the teacher, i.e. monitors. Then he would proceed to
give each one in the line one really hard slap. He used many other forms of
abuse like hitting boys with metal rods, having us clean bathrooms when we
showed up even a minute late for his classes. I was cleaning bathrooms
practically everyday because I just couldn't take a bath, brush my teeth
and go to the toilet 3:30 in the morning all in a span of half an hour. In
the end, cleaning the bathroom was part of my daily schedule and what was
frustrating about cleaning the bathroom was that it had to be done when
everyone else went to play soccer in the goshala.
Gauridas used more monitors than any other teacher I know. He used this boy
Vikram as the head-monitor of the whole ashram. Imagine a boy your age and
a peer to you telling you what to do and having complete power over you.
You couldn’t argue with the 'checks' that he dished out with such smugness.
Everyone hated Vikram because he was the monitor. Gauridas was so naive and
lazy with regards to the boys in his ashram that he had Vikram 'monitor'
his big brother, Rahul, and all the big boys. Now, who in their right mind
would do something like that?
I remember there was an attempt at trying to expose the way Gauridas used
the rod. We took a picture of a large bruise on one boy's leg which was a
direct result of Gauridas using a metal rod to hit children on their thighs
and backsides. I also remember being locked up in a room for a week because
Gauridas had an argument with my father in front of me. The only reason he
gave me for this punishment was that I had instigated this and therefore if
I can’t get my father to write an apology, I'd have to face the
consequences which at that time was being locked up in a room for a week. I
don't vividly remember this episode, and when I think about it, the only
reason for that was maybe the fact that being locked up was a better
alternative to living like a savage in prison-like environment of
Bhaktivedanta Swami International Gurukula.
Think about it. The shape of the building is like that of a prison. No one
was allowed to go out of the building without written permission.
Everywhere we went, we went in a line even if it were just to eat prasadam
on the ground floor (another one of Gauridas’s 'brilliant'
implementations). The ashram teacher knew exactly what was going on every
where at all times. There is always a sense of someone watching you so you
don't say or do anything against authority. Gauridas completely abused the
principle of monitors. He had monitors do everything for him. As far as I'm
concerned, Gauridas didn't learn anything from Kurmarupa's mistakes even
though he was instrumental in getting the gurukula rid of both Prahlad and
Kurmarupa.
The things that I suffered from when I was locked up in the room were much
more psychological than physical which was part of the reason that I can't
pin-point too many details. Most certainly physical abuse like I received
in Vrindavan Gurukula has a much stronger impact than anything 'small-time'
like being locked up in a room for a week. I certainly remember being
ostracized from my group of friends. I remember feeling like an outcast,
some one who didn't deserve to be with the rest of the crew. I remember
that my Sanskrit class was the only thing I could look forward to because I
was allowed to leave the room for the class which was a floor beneath my
'lock up' room.
In Yadu prabhu, my Sanskrit teacher's own words, "One day he told me that
he could not come anymore because he was going to be punished and be locked
in a room for a weak, without permission to see anybody or go out for any
reason. He would be allowed to use the bathrooms, and some boy would bring
him Prasadam. But he would not be allowed to talk to anybody, nor was any
other boy allowed to talk to him even a word. When I asked why, he told me
that he had complained to his father about his life in Gurukula; that his
father had argued and chastised Gauri and therefore now he had to be
punished."
Anyone who knows Yadu Prabhu, knows what a man of integrity and
determination he is. I'm just so sorry that he didn't decide to be an
ashram teacher. He was really worried about the fact that I was being
locked up for the way my father behaved. He was certainly some one who saw
me on a daily basis as the teacher of my favorite subject and had a good
idea of what was happening to me during that time period. This is another
paragraph from him. "After this incident Balarama was affected a little bit
in his Sanskrit studies. He lost some enthusiasm. He was asked to dress
white and move to another ashram. Thus he also lost the association of the
yellow boys of the younger ashram where he had been staying during the
year. But we kept working together, and achieved really a lot that year. At
the speed Balarama was going we were sure that he would finish the whole
Harinamamrita Vyakaran in the next year. But the next year, Balarama did
not return. I still feel sad that I lost him."
Today I feel it important that we accept what took place in those dark days
as a part of ISKCON's history, it must be brought to light, discussed and
examined to ensure that such things don't get repeated in the future. If
events are denied or worse covered up again we will be paving the road to
more abuse. If, on the other hand, we are willing to accept and then
analyze the causes that created an environment that facilitated abuse, we
will be able to isolate and prevent children being abused in the future.
Gauridas's current position as temple president sends out a very
detrimental message to abusers. It shows an unhealthy tolerance for child
abuse. It is very important to understand what I had done to deserve a week
of jail time. My involvement in the matter was my expression of frustration
to my father about Gauridas’s blatant favoritism of certain boys on one
hand and blatant physical and psychological abuse of others who didn't
'kiss ass' on the other hand. What made the situation worse was that my
dad, being impulsive and completely insensitive to Gauridas's ego chastised
him in front of me.
Another episode may or may not be in the records. According to how things
should have played out, this one should be in the records. When Gauridas
was approach by one kid, Krishnadas, in my room, who was angry about the
fact that the two kids sleeping next to him were trying to touch him
inappropriately at night and he wanted them out of the room. Gauridas calls
me over and asks me to exchange places with him. "What is going on?" was
all Krishnadas could say. Instead of removing the two kids from the
gurukula or at least taking it to a board for discussion, Gauridas was just
trying to slide this one under the rug. I was the youngest in that room of
about 6 people. All of them were on more than one occasion found behaving
in voluntary or involuntary homosexual behavior. Krishnadas's mom took him
out of the gurukula for this blatant act of favoritism by Gauridas because
one of the accused was his favorite monitor, Vikram.
These events are indicative of a dictatorial regime imposed by Gauri on the
children. Freedom of speech was not only discouraged, but repressed and
punished. Not satisfied with having locked me for a whole week Gauri
demanded a written apology from my father. If he didn't come up with one I
would be expelled and who knows what would happen to my younger brothers.
And eventually I was expelled.
My little brother Rupa was beaten on a daily basis by Gauri during the time
he was in Gurukula since he was not the 'kiss-up-to-the-teacher' type. I
also wonder if part of the beating he got was not prompted by Gauridas's
dislike for our father. I have been writing for the past three hours
without stopping and I think I'm finally done. I have tried to state these
accounts to the best of my recollection without embellishing anything. Hope
this will help you in coming up with an intelligent solution for the future
to some very shocking problems of the past. Hare Krsna. YS, Balarama das
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